knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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