Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

Screw it you write the joke.

How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Knock Knock the door's open, come in

jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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