What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops