If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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