How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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