What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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What's worse than getting a F on your History test? The millions of children around your age that cannot even afford to go to school, most likely because they live in a third world country.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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