What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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What does? 42

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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