A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops