What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +43

a man was shot.... he died

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

thumb_up thumb_down +35

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops