What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

thumb_up thumb_down +14

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops