What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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black people

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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