I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

i put a oie in the oven, it baked

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Killing your friend as a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops