Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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alert("Hello");

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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