What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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