Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Turkey Balls

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops