Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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p

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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Your momma is so fat, when she bent down to get a peice of wood, she fell down the steps.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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A giant storm loomed over a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who has been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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