Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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haha

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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whats 2+2? 4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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