What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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