How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops