Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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A boy with red hair is happy.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Brain fart

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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