Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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