What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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24

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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pudding

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops