If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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Do you play piano? No

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops