Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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