What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? Because you are expecting them to encompass one idea of irony, but instead sometimes give a logical explanation to the question.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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