Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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