What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops