Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a bar...so what? People do it all the time.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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smell the vitamin C

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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What happens when you roll a quarter down the street in Mexico? It rolls for a small period of time but eventually it falls over and stops rolling because quarters aren't able to roll very far on imperfect surfaces.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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