Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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