- Anti Joke

What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

I'm tired.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

Roses are red. Violets are purple

A moose walks into a store and asks the lady where the potatoes are. She says "isle five". he walks to isle five and there were no potatoes

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops