Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops