Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

you will like this because i am black.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops