A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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What do you can a boy with no arms and no legs? Names!

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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quantum physics?

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops