What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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