Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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