roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Get up Look in the mirror

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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roses are red poo is poo

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops