Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops