A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...