have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

whos a sick fuck? jake morris

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

What did the black guy do with his gun? Shoot a deer

What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

Whats the leading cause of death Life.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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