Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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