What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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like if your cool

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hello anomonous

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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Wats do you get when you combine a vampire and a ginger? Idk, who would pull that disgusting shit

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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