If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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