why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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