roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Drew Knowles is gay

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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