A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops