What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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