Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are you gay? Because ***** you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Albert <3 Hunter

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops