How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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