A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Your adopted.....

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops