Roses are red Im adopted

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

Maths.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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