what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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who do we all like george goodburn

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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if got a joke if fogot it

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A whole 'nother.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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