You know what's a real drag? A club foot

Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

Children + my basement + my finger = yes

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

Roses are red.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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