Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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