What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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