You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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