SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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