Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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haha

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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