- Anti Joke

the WNBA.

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

Why did the old man die? He was old.

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

A young baby died.

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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